DIMINISHERS

​DIMINISH  -  To make or become less ,   Cause to seem less impressive or valuable ..... says the dictionary. 

How does this apply to us from the perspective of people's auras and their effect on us in daily living ? 
 
Diminishers see people as objects to be used, not as persons to know and care for. “Diminishers are so into themselves, they make others feel insignificant… If they learn one thing about you, they proceed to make a series of assumptions about who you must be.” Diminishers fit well into today’s mainstream culture, which elevates striving for ourselves.

While at the opposite end , we have “illuminators” .   Those who are curious and want to know others. “They shine the brightness of their care on people and make them feel bigger, deeper, respected, and lit up,” says Brooks. They meet us more than half way and fill a deep need we all have ,  to be seen.
They are the opposite of “diminishers.”

Do you illuminate or diminish people? - The Aspen Institute
Concept taken from David Brooks and his book -  How to know a Person  
The Art of Conversation: Are You an Illuminator or a Diminisher? – 100.7 Riverland Life FM

I would go on to say that "diminishers" have a poor sense of self , and hence shine a weak light on their surroundings .  Added to that , they might even blame their hazy surroundings ! 

For the longest time i thought i did not understand "toxicity" , but life has taught me well into my 50's.    Having to deal with negative emotions on a regular basis from those closest can be quite draining. Is so-and-so really at fault ? Really the cause of your pain ? Or is he just a willing and polite crutch holding up the curtain of your anger and self-confusion , knowing full well that if he were to move away , you might come tumbling down and hurt yourself badly.  

Who then is the rightful diminisher , and who then the illuminator in this complex web of life ?