"THE FEAR THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO CHANGE"Alazia (Ancient Greek: Ἀλαζία) - a city of ancient Mysia near the River Odrysses, which flows out of Lake Dascylitis from the west through the plain of Mygdonia and empties into the Rhyndacus ( Wikipedia ) OR It can be an abstract noun depicting an emotion that had no "name" in the English language until John Koenig came along and coined his "Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows" . If Webster can do it , he can too. Do step into this portal , its a whole new world of words and makes you think ! www.thedictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/words ⚡ALAZIA⚡ When you were born, you could have been anybody. So quick and malleable, your parents could look at your face and see a future president. They tried to mold you as you grew, but they could only work with what they had. And when their tools stopped working, they gradually handed them off to you, asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” There’s a certain art to becoming who you are. There’s no standard kit you can use to assemble yourself, swapping out parts as needed. Instead, it feels more like a kind of stretching, a teasing out at the edges, like a glassblower standing at the furnace. A teenage personality is a delicate medium, its emotions almost too heavy to handle. You had to figure out a way to keep yourself together and tease out the good parts without falling out of balance or stretching yourself too thin. You couldn’t stop everything to try to fix your flaws, but you couldn’t just ignore them either. Luckily, you were nothing if not flexible, softened by the heat of youth, which kept you warm on a dingy couch or a night in the wilderness. You knew that you weren’t just you, you were also the person you would one day become. So even when you failed, you could still be whatever you wanted to be. As long as you kept moving. Inevitably you got hit, and you got hurt. You prided yourself on how well you absorbed the blow, bouncing back as if nothing had happened. But the pain changed you, in little chips and cracks that might take you years to notice. Over time you learned how to position yourself in very specific ways, protecting the most vulnerable parts of your psyche, even as you knew they were still a crucial part of the real you. Gradually you became more and more reluctant to move from that position. Growing a little harder, a little more brittle. Greek αλλάζω (allázo), to change + dysplasia, abnormal development of tissue. Pronounced “uh- ley-zhuh” or “ah-ley-zee-uh.” www.thedictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/concept/alazia
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** Only once **Ichi-go ichi-e (Japanese: 一期一会, pronounced [it͡ɕi.ɡo it͡ɕi.e], lit. "one time, one meeting") is a Japanese four-character idiom (yojijukugo) that describes a cultural concept of treasuring the unrepeatable nature of a moment. The term has been roughly translated as "for this time only", and "once in a lifetime". The term reminds people to cherish any gathering that they may take part in, citing the fact that any moment in life cannot be repeated; even when the same group of people get together in the same place again, a particular gathering will never be replicated, and thus each moment is always a once-in-a-lifetime experience.[1] The concept is most commonly associated with Japanese tea ceremonies, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ichi-go_ichi-e See also an article by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles , authors of Ikigai www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-ichigo-ichie-10-rules-of-the-japanese-way-to-happiness  “I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson Not just a modern ELDER , i want to be a modern WELL-DER !! Wise , Curious , and kicking ass !! Thank you Chip Coneley for your article and insights today , 20th August 2024 - Being a modern elder means learning how to alchemize our polarities: our curiosity mixed with our wisdom, our introversion served up with some extroversion, our gravitas (depth) with our levity (lightness) .... Looking back at your past with love , acceptance and deep understanding . You did the best you could with what you knew then. If you had known differently you might have done things differently .  DIMINISH - To make or become less , Cause to seem less impressive or valuable ..... says the dictionary.
How does this apply to us from the perspective of people's auras and their effect on us in daily living ? Diminishers see people as objects to be used, not as persons to know and care for. “Diminishers are so into themselves, they make others feel insignificant… If they learn one thing about you, they proceed to make a series of assumptions about who you must be.” Diminishers fit well into today’s mainstream culture, which elevates striving for ourselves. While at the opposite end , we have “illuminators” . Those who are curious and want to know others. “They shine the brightness of their care on people and make them feel bigger, deeper, respected, and lit up,” says Brooks. They meet us more than half way and fill a deep need we all have , to be seen. They are the opposite of “diminishers.” Do you illuminate or diminish people? - The Aspen Institute Concept taken from David Brooks and his book - How to know a Person The Art of Conversation: Are You an Illuminator or a Diminisher? – 100.7 Riverland Life FM I would go on to say that "diminishers" have a poor sense of self , and hence shine a weak light on their surroundings . Added to that , they might even blame their hazy surroundings ! For the longest time i thought i did not understand "toxicity" , but life has taught me well into my 50's. Having to deal with negative emotions on a regular basis from those closest can be quite draining. Is so-and-so really at fault ? Really the cause of your pain ? Or is he just a willing and polite crutch holding up the curtain of your anger and self-confusion , knowing full well that if he were to move away , you might come tumbling down and hurt yourself badly. Who then is the rightful diminisher , and who then the illuminator in this complex web of life ? ..... Desiring of powerful change in one's life , behavior or situation !! Progressive , Having a growth mindset , Forward thinking , Not a static personality , Lover of improvement , IKIGAI and innovation !! Example : Her novaturient spirit led her to constantly seek out new experiences. My novaturient mindset can never be still and is always on the look out for new learning !  
And that is why we are what we are ... who is to judge ?
 The term "mentern" is a conjugal celebration of two worlds. The elder and the juvenile. The seasoned and the virginal. The highest common factor being the "growth mindset" in both worlds. Humility. Willingness to learn. Acceptance of perfectly workable shades-of-grey.
A mentor who is an intern. When we release expectations and stiff upper lips , our worlds become over-all lighter. What better way towards progress than a MENTOR teaching and learning from an INTERN. And vice versa. Guards are down as both are free to make their share of learning mistakes , ask questions , and be vulnerable . The cup that is full cannot take in any more , and only spills over. The arrogant mind with its erected barriers and drawbridge up cannot soak in knowledge or awareness. ARE YOU A MENTERN (socialstrategygroup.com) The word hygge comes from a Danish word meaning "to give courage, comfort, joy" Hygge (/ˈh(j)uːɡə/, H(Y)OO-gə; Danish: [ˈhykə]; Norwegian: [ˈhŷɡːə]) is a word in Danish and Norwegian that describes a mood of coziness and "comfortable conviviality" with feelings of wellness and contentment. In both Danish and Norwegian, hygge refers to "a form of everyday togetherness", "a pleasant and highly valued everyday experience of safety, equality, personal wholeness and a spontaneous social flow".[6] The noun hygge includes something nice, cozy, safe and known, referring to a psychological state.[7] The Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen has studied the positive effect of "hygge" on Danish society.[8] Hygge - Wikipedia A perfect new concept to learn as we head into autumn here in Melbourne Australia. It is the start of June 2023. The anti-thesis of IKIGAI that conjures up images of purposeful work and rolled up sleeves in my mind. Hygge makes me think of falling leaves , irish coffee , warm socks , a good book , and an evening in slow motion - whether in solitude or with family. One of the facets of Hygge is "TRUCE" . I love and need this in my life right now. I want to see familial warring factions call for a ceasefire . Even if they cannot sit across a table and talk , they can open up their hearts in silent acknowledgement of one another's pain. Peace and forgiveness seem to be advocated everywhere i go . Or am i just getting on in life ? I think i deserve some HYGGE , a nice big self-HUG too . I am letting go of feelings that do not serve me & situations that are beyond my good intentions. Some Aspects of Hygge: 1. Atmosphere 2. Presence 3. Pleasure 4. Equality 5. Gratitude 6. Harmony 7. Comfort 8. Truce 9. Togetherness 10. Shelter  “The true purpose of tidying is not to cut down on your possessions or declutter your space,” says Marie. “The ultimate goal is to spark joy every day and lead a joyful life.” That goal — that inner why — can help guide everything that we do, and it expands well beyond the home. This is what Marie calls kurashi. |
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