WEEKLY VIGNETTEs
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A Vignette - a brief evocative description, account, or episode
Tips of Icebergs , A sharing of candid reflections during the week that was. Seven births, Seven Days, Seven lifetimes for a mayfly . |
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Cheat day. Some days I give myself permission to take short cuts. When I’m low on motivation or time.
Desiderata is an old childhood friend. Much like Khalil Gibran . I first came across Desiderata hand-written by mum in a red hard-bound note book. She had this habit of compiling written quotes, something she does to this day. ( Genetics at work ? ) It stands out in its simplicity. Desiderata must have been apt in 1927 and seems timeless. Elon Musk can take it with him to the moon one day.
Desiderata - Words for Life
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. — Max Ehrmann, 1927 Desiderata are, technically, things considered necessary or highly desirable OR something lacked and wanted. Feel like your ideas are second place ? Like your thinking of something is proof enough of its commonality ? Regard others with amazement for their “original” ideas and quick wit ? I came across this passage in “Die Empty” by Todd Henry , which btw is a book that can be read any time and from anyplace (in the book I mean) . My kind of reading! Even a tiny para is like a small arrow , shooting a precise message home. ( I am working on a short power-point summary with my personal take-home nuggets from this book , and plan to share very soon ) Derek Sivers (featured in the book) shared that one of the struggles he’s experienced over the course of his career is that other people’s work always seems to be intricate and innovative compared to his. “I never would have thought of that. How do they even come up with it ? It is genius” Sivers said. In spite of his inclinations, he continued quietly going about his work and making the things that he felt compelled to make , even though most of them seemed too obvious to him. Sivers was surprised when other people began contacting him and remarking about how inventive his work was and how they never could have come up with such ideas. Ideas that seem obvious to you may be incredibly profound to others , but you may be inclined not to share them because of a fear that they will be perceived as too shallow. Are you holding back insights or actions because they seem too obvious to you ? Brilliant work doesn’t need to be complex. Sometimes the deepest truths are hiding in plain sight. Todd Henry ( Die Empty) – Page 161 “ Do the Obvious” “Obvious to you , Amazing to others” - is what Derek Sivers calls these ideas. And this is so true. I’m take my hat off to “persistence”. Not giving up on your talent, your creativity. Giving recognition less recognition. You can’t satisfy everyone, don’t let the critics get you down. Public opinion is over-rated. “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” George Bernard Shaw .
Leonard Cohen’s Anthem.
I am moved every time I listen to this piece. His unconventional deep voice and crisp pronunciation , melody bordering on recitation. It is profound. How many of us can identify with the dove that is never free. That has a great responsibility to the world in sharing its timid self. The dove of peace and unity. The dove that finds the olive branch, inspiring confidence in the inhabitants of the mammoth ark . The quiet anchor. The crack that appears in everything , but is the only way for the light to get in. Earlier, my (youthful) thinking was that once a paper is crumpled and torn , it can never be restored to its former crispness. At fifty+ I go with the Japanese philosophy of Kintsugi that cherishes every broken artefact and glued-up vase for its uniqueness , history and experiences. ** Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. Do what you can . Do it whole heartedly. How simple and devoid of pressure. Something we all can do as a matter of course. Leonard Cohen often took months and years over a song. Chipping away till it was good to go. He was in awe of other song writers who dashed off their numbers overnight. Interesting ! To us he is an icon and musical guru. In his eyes, at that time, he perceived himself as “slow” and not good enough. Thank you M for your random share and our chance meeting on that Melbourne-Dubai flight back in 2017 PC (Pre-covid) ? Leonard Cohen’s Anthem. My anthem too. 
Anthem
Leonard Cohen The birds they sang At the break of day Start again I heard them say Don't dwell on what has passed away Or what is yet to be Ah, the wars they will be fought again The holy dove, she will be caught again Bought and sold, and bought again The dove is never free Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything That's how the light gets in We asked for signs The signs were sent The birth betrayed The marriage spent Yeah, and the widowhood Of every government Signs for all to see I can't run no more With that lawless crowd While the killers in high places Say their prayers out loud But they've summoned, they've summoned up A thundercloud They're going to hear from me Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything That's how the light gets in You can add up the parts But you won't have the sum You can strike up the march There is no drum Every heart, every heart To love will come But like a refugee Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack, a crack in everything That's how the light gets in I believe in system and method , particularly with conquering fear and challenges. Want to share a simple technique that did well by me back in 2009 during my McGuire speech program. Dug out my black case , my numerous diaries , logs and jots. Lost a couple of hours back there as I ambled down memory lane. ( Journaling is such an amazing tool and the only medium that enables you assess progress over the years , analyse the past . Events are too fleeting , they come and go, and without records and archives it would be impossible to recall with accuracy )  This is the book that fired the starting shot at my “fluency” race. The marathon I run to this date. The book is so logical , contains simple and effective little solutions. A step by step battle for speech-warriors, but also an insightful read for those with or without these disfluencies. No one had ever tackled the subject like this before. Earlier , it was about “healing” and “cure” and “eradication” . This is more like speech war and training a sport or a musical instrument . You simply practice and practice. You simply do the work.  The more unresolved conflicts we have , the more dysfunctional we become. Living separate lives within life. Having to remember so much in order to fake it. When we are authentic , life is rich ! COMFORT ZONE - MICRO CYCLES PROXIMAL DEVELOPMENT - MESO CYCLES SHOCK ZONE - MACRO CYCLES - Transformation after prep and planning, failures and wins ...  Here is an example of a GROWTH CYCLE I did back in 2009 relating to SPEAKING SITUATIONS. I guess the same can be used in parallel for whatever aspect of personality we want to develop. Plot a steady stream of situations in ever-increasing difficulty and address them one by one. Nothing to me is as satisfying as checking things of a list as “done” ( I might even do a small-something , and then sneakily add it to my list for the pure joy of ticking it off !! 😊 😊 ) When I assess myself now, ten years hence, I can honestly say that just about everything on that list is well within my comfort and willingness zones – except the Roller Coaster !
I’m happy with that. A personal share on living with a speech impediment , taking myself back fifteen years and recalling what it was like at age 40 ( magnify this a few times for the younger Holly ) Waking up almost daily with a knot in my throat , literally pincers around my tonsils , a physical obstruction of some kind that prevented me from speaking fluently. From morning my mind would work super fast scanning expected speaking situations and mentally manoeuvring myself around them. Thinking up sneaky ways to organize situations so that someone else could handle (speaking) tasks for me - paying bills , outdoor errands . Dreading forced impromptu events and phone calls especially at work. Using my speech as a crutch and an excuse for things I could and could not do. My mind always worked in “dual carriage” mode. The real and the parallel. What I wanted to say , and what I could say . A walking thesaurus. Speaking situations would be restricted to one-on-ones if I could help it. Had this surreal hierarchy established in my mind. Top of the pyramid were people like employers , bank managers , clients . I would rather die than speak in public . The thought of saying my name sent shivers down my spine …… My wish , my dream then : To have ONE DAY OF FLUENCY. A day that I could speak the words I wanted without parallel thought of possibility . A day that I could ask for exactly what I wanted , summon the waiter, race to pick up the phone, shout out my name from rooftops , enter into a debate , perform on stage, handle a conference call with the bank manager on one end and my boss on the other . My mind was tired and overworked. Fluency was just a dream. This could never actually happen. I was going to die with unuttered thoughts and unspoken words. But so what ? There were others who had to contend with much worse. What’s holding back a little , and having latte when what you really wanted was cappuccino ? Fast forward to Australia 2010 - Recently migrated , Australia was a new world and society. Here, everyone had a “right” to be what they were. Pedestrians were not second class citizens . They had as much right to be on the road as vehicle owners. Everyone seemed to have a voice , take their time to say their piece , and I felt a dot of empowerment. Enter Dave McGuire and the speech program I attended back in November of 2009. The most life-changing value-driven $2000.00. I have ever spent !!!! Five days of speech boot camp that transformed my life forever. That aha moment when you ask yourself what on earth you have been doing until now ! The McGuire program didn’t get rid of my stutter ( which I proudly wear to this day ) but it transformed my thinking forever. The support of other persons with speech impediments who totally understood , pushing myself over the limit into ridiculous speaking situations , going on to join Toastmasters , attend other courses , develop into a speech coach, overcoming hurdles in my personal life …. All these helped shape and develop me further. The analogy to an iceberg still stands strong in my mind. 20% of the iceberg is visible and lies about the surface of the water. But the 80% base root lies underneath and invisible. This needs to be blasted into non-existence, and then the 20% ice block on top will just have to fall. A great analogy that can apply to so many aspects and limitations in our lives should we wish to overcome them. And this gave birth to my great interest in overcoming setbacks and limitations. Pushing oneself to the limit. Everything is achievable with the right tools and mind-set , at the right time. Thank you God ! Thank you Universe ! I was given not only a day of fluency , but a lifetime of opportunity. Life began after 40 as I regarded it with a fresh perspective. A gift indeed. I began looking at everything with a new lens . Other people get a bit jaded and stale by the time they reach 45. I was literally reborn and everything took on a totally new hue. A decade later , I am still “ten years old” and growing in wonder & bewilderment every day. “ Trade your cleverness for bewilderment “ – Rumi
I begin early , mentally ready to seize the day with its happy accidents and surprises. Out walking with Amanda Gorman before 7.30 am on this crisp cool morning. My featured artist of the week. Great choice. I return dancing. She has fired me up. A buoyant spirit shot from the proverbial canon, thanks to the new FLOTUS , Jill Tracy Biden ( born June 3 , 1951 ) . I love chance meetings and Amanda is definitely one of them.
Amanda Gorman Perky Piscean , born 7th March 1998 , Los Angeles California, Poet laureate ** , at 22. Studied at New Roads School, Santa Monica , from kindergarten to high school. Harvard her Alma Mater , pursued Sociology and Spanish. Youngest performer at a USA presidential inauguration Self assured . Electrifying . Radiant . Charismatic , Inclusive. Innate confidence. Sunny disposition. Crowd puller and involver. Cutest speech impediment , rolls her R’s that often come out as W’s. I’m a sucker for speech nuances . Her goal – to run for president in 2036. She will be 38 years old when her dream comes true. C-Amanda-in-chief ? Raised by a single mom who banned television except for a couple of old 1950 programs. They had to reason and justify why they wanted to watch something if they did. Her mom also scattered figurines of elephants in their home. Elephants never forget. Elephants are matriarchal. Joan Wicks, a 6th grade teacher , raised her two daughters alone. What is it with speech impediments and hesitant orators , writers , performers ? What is it with any challenge that is overcome and the treasures that surface after victory ? No pressure - no diamonds. Amanda battles R’s – like the wabbit in Bugs Bunny. Joe Biden also overcame a stutter , as did James Earl Jones , Anthony Hopkins and a host of others. What if they gave in to their limiting beliefs ? To their speech ? to being raised alone ? to being black ? to the death of a young wife , daughter and later a 45 year old son ? What if they had chosen the path of self-pity ? and self-effacement ? When Amanda writes and narrates , one is transported to another world. She focusses on who the poem is for and the message she intends to convey. She does not initially bother with the right words and meter and entertainment. She is all about focus and specificity as a key to the success of her task (as she says) Vagueness achieves nothing solid. I find small similarities between her recitation style and that of Rupi Kaur, though content is entirely different. Similar meter , drawl , repetition ? Kaur more personal and relationship-oriented , Gorman largely political and country-oriented. I love the currency and modernity of her writing , how close to home it all is. The pictures she draws with her emphatic words and hidden rhymes. I sit back , work out , walk and just enjoy the rhythm, the power and lull of her voice and quaintly synchronized passages. Yes , Amanda is lucky to have studied in Harvard , but Harvard , she says , is also lucky to have her. She says that she says this without ego or pretentiousness. Why should she understate and under-sell herself ? Amanda has a voice. Amanda is a voice. Poetry is about politics . It is about opinions . It is about taking a stand , and she would rather be opinionated and shot down , rather than an aimless bystander or fence-sitter. ( A statement that hits a raw nerve with me – the diplomat , peace lover who stays clear of confrontation and hates to “offend” ) Amanda Gorman embodies confidence. Confidence that she built like a muscle. How many days and weeks and nights of grooming would have gone into the making of the articulate young lady reciting before us now? Hope and inspiration to everyone out there facing a personal challenge, waiting for that hidden opportunity to show itself. Will I even be alive in 2036 to watch her fulfill her dreams and take the oath of office ? I am so keen to follow the trajectory of her career. A focussed young person who can make a difference, who can lead and influence for good. Extracts from the inauguration poem “The Hill we Climb” that resonated with me. “ quiet is not always peace” “ what just is isn’t always just-ice” “ a nation that isn’t broken but simply unfinished” “ we lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another” “ even as we grieved we grew , as we hurt we hoped” “ the hill we climb if only we dare it” “ while we have our eyes on the future , history has its eyes on us” “ how can we possibly prevail over catastrophe ? now we assert – how can catastrophe possibly prevail over us ?” “ we will not be turned out by intimidation” “ if we merge mercy with might, and might with right , then love becomes our legacy and change our children’s birthright” “ there is always light , if only we are brave enough to see it, if only we are brave enough to be it” ** Definition of poet laureate. 1 : a poet honored for achievement. 2a : a poet appointed for life by an English sovereign as a member of the royal household and formerly expected to compose poems for court and national occasions. www.merriam-webster.com 
Credit – Melissa Smitherman |
