#1. Excellent things happen to people who do excellent things.

#2. Morning exercise is a game-changer.

#3. The things that are hardest to do are the things that are generally the wisest to do.

#4. Creativity shines brightest when we are alone. Make time for silence, stillness and solitude.

​
#5. Education is inoculation against disruption. Read for an hour each day to protect your hope, refine your craft and grow your knowledge.

#6. The fears you don’t face become your walls. And doubts are destroyed by strong action.

#7. What hurts us can help us. Leverage hardship to reclaim your natural heroism.

#8. Cheap costs more.

#9. The game of leadership is helpfulness.

#10. Mastery takes massive practice, unrelenting patience and vast devotion. It’s a very difficult obsession. And one of the best commitments you can make.

#11. Keep your promises. Never lie. Outwork your peers. Deliver beautiful value. People watch what you do. Even if you think they don’t.

#12. You can’t inspire others if you are uninspired. Actively work to keep your enthusiasm and inner fire high. Be with art. Go to conferences. Travel. Explore.

#13. Life can change in a day. Savor the blessings of this moment. Even if you’re going through a trial, you still have much to be grateful for.

When anxiety fills me, and I feel disconnected from my essence—or when I’m simply out of love—I turn to Rumi.   
💚💛💚💛
13 Rumi Poems to Awaken the Love Within Us. | elephant journal
“If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.”
💚💛💚💛
“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”
💚💛💚💛

​

• How CEOs are not just CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICERS, but CHIEF EMOTIONS OFFICERS . 
• How leaders of units ( organizations , families ) are EMOTIONAL THERMOSTATS , setting the tonality for sentiment .   Feelings are contagious !  Labelling and identifying what you are feeling is the first step towards dealing with them.  Be honest!  Do not self-sabotage with a false sense of Pride or Perfectionism.  
• How the success of people within the organization can be attributed two-thirds to their Emotional Intelligence and only one-third to pure IQ,   academics, or experience!   
• How you don’t need to be SUPERHUMAN, just A SUPER  HUMAN, which we all can strive to be.
• How you can deal with FOGO ( Fear of Growing Old)  wisdomwell.modernelderacademy.com/curing-fogo 

TED TALK – CHIP CONLEY , founder of the Modern Elder Academy 
​TOWARDS A PSYCHOLOGY OF BUSINESS ( 2011 )
 (( See also the book “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman ))    ​

​The irony of this article hits me profoundly as I sit confined through Lockdown no. 7  in Melbourne Australia , August 2021 .  I  wistfully reminisce personal  gatherings over the past years , across cultures and countries.   Surreal.    Right now it is an “offence” to visit your neighbor.     
Looking at gatherings in a new light.  The deeper side of coming together , social aspects we identify with  but hesitate to implement as we get caught up with form ,  social norms ,  expectations, and the done thing.    
Over the last two years,  Covid has wreaked havoc on personal and commercial gatherings with its dark shadow of uncertainty,   causing us to sorely miss as well as rethink simple events that we once took for granted .     Like everyone else , I  too am viewing “coming together” with a new lens and resolve to give every occasion , regardless of size , more significance , when we resume.  On the flip side ,  politely decline those I  might not resonate with , rather than go with the motions.     In more ways than one,  worldwide ,  gatherings will most probably never be the same again.  
Gratitude to my  daughter ,  for shining the light on  
Priya Parker , author of  “On the Art of  Gathering”. 
Taken up with this charismatic lady who speaks very intentionally on the Importance and the Nuances of human “gatherings” and “events”.   How we get bogged down with external details and appearances,  often overlooking completely intention and humanity.    

Some takeaways from Priya Parker’s interviews , podcasts and book summaries :  

Purpose is Paramount

• Begin with the need and not the format.   We get caught in the “form” and forget the essence , the invaluable , the unique.   What matters is the intent of the event , the spirit ,  the people , and NOT the lighting , the cutlery , and the canapes.  
• Gatherings tend to get confused with hostessing .  
• Every occasion has a purpose.  Replicate , modify the form to suit the purpose.  Not the other way around.  
• A category is not a purpose for a gathering  ((  e.g.  a board meeting , a wedding , a baby shower  ))  .
• Purpose cannot be ASSUMED.   SPECIFICITY is key ( as with anything in life, really ! )  Vague goals can only give vague results.  
• We need to commit to this “bold sharp purpose” and not get lost  in conventional form.
• Creating transformative , new , memorable experiences vs the old staid methods ( that were most likely in response to some other prevalent need at the time )  .  Think outside the realm of social “skeumorphia” (( link ))
• Build a structure that contains a unique part of yourself.   Forget the norms ,  the archetypical expectations that people have ( or worse still , you think that people have )  
• Craft the gathering such that  everyone is  “marching to the same time ( your time 😊  )  ,   and yet has the freedom to  dance to their own beat “

 
Tap into the uniqueness of every gathering   

• The PASSOVER PRINCIPLE – HOW IS THIS NIGHT DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER NIGHTS ???? 
• The event is the culmination of pregame efforts.   Hours , days or weeks.   It is the unseen care , attentiveness and prior planning that shape it.   The blank canvas on which you create a suitable backdrop. 
• “Generous Authority” – being firm about certain non-negotiable “rules” ,  if these rules will definitely and positively contribute to the outcome of the gathering.   E.g. Prohibited mobile phones in a cinema .
• “Healthy Conflict”  vs  “Unhealthy Peace” -  one’s inability , refusal to see , to name the fracture in front of you.   If there were more “Healthy Conflict” in the world , there might be a lot less violence  ( Priya Parker )   
• Cultivate those awkward social moments that could lead to greater understanding.  
• Cultivate a little “HEAT” and healthy controversy now and again. 
• Eradicate the fear of “imposition” – take people up on their kindness to help , to participate , to contribute.   Supermen and women get flustered too. 

 
Events are rooted in the self

• AUTHENTICITY wins  – It’s not the most charismatic ,  the best cooks , or the funniest joke-tellers that host the most memorable gatherings.    Don’t you sometimes feel very relaxed with a scattered but sincere host ?   I’ve secretly admired their confidence and self assurance.    Not afraid of being judged , of letting others catch a  very real glimpse of their homes and lives. 
• 'Health' in Hindi, स्वास्थ्य [swaasthya], means “seated within oneself”.   A solid self and inner core precedes meaningful hospitality.  
• What is it that you know how to do ?  Where is the need ? How can I help ?  ( Questions that we can ask ourselves at any crossroad – be it an event , a career , or  even planning a day. 
• ENVISION – EMBODY – ENACT 

 
The Age of Virtual Gatherings 
 

• The snow-balling of virtual events is happening all too rapidly.   We switch environments hour to hour without the tradition of going through a door , walking or driving to our destination ,  no shoes to kick off , no coat to hang ,  no rituals of extended greeting and warming up to the event.   We can be working out one hour ,  in a corporate meeting the next , at a birthday party after  …..  without ever leaving the room.   We are still coming to terms (struggling ? ) with this virtual agility. 
• Just like a palette needs to be cleansed between  meal courses , our minds needs a mental door to open and close !
• “ZOOM” is what  you make of it.  Same principles can apply -  Rituals ,  Generous authority to guide guests ,  Rooms within to create context and space separation.   Zoom is a place , and not the host.    
• The devilish “mute” button that can zone us out at will should we desire !   A little trick that is not really possible in a physical space.
• Lots to be explored -   Awareness and etiquette at virtual gatherings.   Benefits of global gatherings which were not otherwise possible .   Sadness when the physical is sometimes replaced with the virtual .    Podcast gatherings – awareness of the unseen listener , separated by time and space , visibility …. It’s a whole new world.    

 
A personal spin

• I  love the envisioning process of a gathering   - the planning and the organization , the build up of anticipation.  Though I must confess that I am almost ALWAYS consumed by panic as the event draws near .  It is only when the first couple of dishes are cooked . a day before ,  and ready with decorative finishing touches , that I relax and begin to feel more confident.   ((  Sadly , there lies a typical example of fussing with the external prompts that I need to change ))
• When I was young , I allowed my stutter to come in the way of active social participation.    Hence I resorted to mental divisions .   I’d think that  “organization” was my baby , and left the “entertainment” to Len ,   who was a talkative and gracious host in my eyes.  I would either be consumed by “efficiency” wanting things to be just so ,   or by fear at having to make stammering introductions , and hide in busy-ness.   
• I might also feel a sense of sadness at the end of the evening , without even knowing exactly why.  Mostly friends would go out of their way to compliment us on the fun they would have had , but in my heart , something was often  missing .  Maybe a dot of authenticity ?  Maybe more chill factor  ? 
• I am looking forward to lockdowns ending and the world coming together in a meaningful way.   Something has changed in all of us  -  likely improved levels of empathy , compassion , sincerity … and a true feeling of equitability.  ​

​
COVID has opened our hearts to the beauty of gatherings and relationships  .    
“SIMPLE , HONEST WAYS TO HONOUR EACH OTHER AND FACE WHAT IS”  
The currency of “Coming Together” has gone up , more than the Pfizer share price right now.

“The way we gather matters.” The opening line of Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering elegantly and succinctly sums up the focus of this book, which is jam-packed with useful and inspiring information for anyone who hosts events.
My Favorite Learnings from Priya Parker’s “The Art of ...
voltagecontrol.com/blog/my-favorite-learnings-from-priya …
 
Purposeful get-togethers and nights of conversation between friends can cement our relationships, start movements, and shape our memories for years. Priya Parker, a professional facilitator and the founder of Thrive Labs, asks us to re-imagine our approach to gathering in her new book The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters.
The Art of Gathering - Mindful
www.mindful.org/the-art-of-gathering/
 

Here are her (05) non-negotiable choices  :

1. Choose to live an integrous life.  Don’t just speak your truth. Live it.  Walk your talk .  Don’t lie. Liars don’t heal. 
2. Choose to pass on your wisdom and not your suffering.   Some people suffer from “chronic chronic-ness” which is both contagious and detrimental to community health. 
3. Choose to take risks.  Do not overthink or assume you are in control. The best events in your life happened by chance .  Believe !  Adapt and accommodate as life evolves. 
4. Choose your words wisely.  As a wordsmith , Caroline urges us to ponder and remove harmful words from our vocabulary in their entirety. She feels that some words such as Blame , Deserve and Entitled are lethal.
5. Choose to bless each day .  Not for what we have or have done , not based on how we feel ,  but simply because we are.  Cherish every moment which is truly unique in itself. 

Choose to live totally in the present ,  silently and humbly.   Observe. Learn.   

“ No judgement. No expectation.  Give up the need to know what happens tomorrow"

“My prayer today is to become more mindful of my personal actions. What motivates me to do what I do and to say the things I do to others? I often dismiss my actions because of stress or anger but the people I hurt along the way do not dismiss what I’ve said or done. Every action and every word carries a consequence. Every person has stress and every person has anger. I would not like to be someone’s target and I ask for the grace to become more mindful not to harm others just because I am having a bad day.” ~ Caroline Myss

I close with an assortment of quotes by Caroline Myss  . 
Each one is worth a morning meditation and soul-search.  ​

​

​Comparing life to traffic lights,   🚦🚥🚦  Mathew’s analogy is that we breeze through the green , usually take the smooth highways for granted.  The “shoe-less summer walk” in happy abandon.   Good times !  Confident times !  Then BAM !  you reach a pothole or a yellow light and have to slow down.  Time to pause and survey.  Change of tyres ?  Oil and filter ?  Clean dirty windscreens?  Fortify the journey with additional supplies ?   Do we then create false trauma for ourselves by magnifying issues  ? Do we enact drama making mountains out of molehills ?  Or just put that pedal to the metal after suitably scanning the road ahead.   The yellow light is where the green light might live , where we could feel the fear and do it anyway.   Worse still , it could lead to a RED  ,  those meaningful (red) herrings seen in the rear view mirror of life ,  where a big pause and major re-alignment is required.  A complete change of route ?
 Its what you do at these yellow or red lights that counts , not how many of them you encounter. 🚥🚦🚥😊

Listening to a few interviews  after the release of his book ,  ( Jennifer Cohen Habits & Hustle  , Vishen Lakhiani Mind Valley , Franklin Covey leadership etc )   , Matthew McConaughey strikes me as  genial, down-to-earth and grounded.  He is a semicentennial too.  Just turned 50.  In pretty good shape barring a recent knee surgery .   Thought he might a touch too preachy at first .  However, last week by “happy accident” ,  an entertaining hour-long interview with Vishen found me , and made me want to explore more.   I listened quite captivated  and workout time flew by.  A sucker for sexy voices , I quite like his Texan drawl and clear diction. 

Here are some nuggets I thought worth sharing :      

1. “A roof is a man-made thing” – the constraints we put on ourselves , the ceilings we create.  Thinking  “ this is too good to be true , I don’t deserve this” is arrogant.  To consider that this is as good as it is ever going to get.  An spin off Icarus ?   We might think that the wax on our wings is melting but we can actually get that closer to the sun and easily take more heat.  Recognizing , appreciating and enjoying the good things that come our way is the best form of inherent gratitude.
2. Unbelievable  is the rudest , most stupid word  What we actually mean is INCREDIBLE or just plain awesome.  Why do we cast doubts on beauty and achievment ( Unbelievable music ! Unbelievable sunset ! ) when that is the very thing we can see and believe . 
3. Arrows and Targets -    Arrows don’t search , they just fly. Targets receive the right arrow.  Like spiders that wait in their web.   Like the Law of Resonance (Michael Beckwith ) – the universe gives you not what you want but who you are. 
4. The power of the Walkabout -  Simple and greatest tool for self discovery and awareness.  Done without tech-crutches , gadgets and mobiles.   Just being one with yourself and listening to the message you might most need to hear.   (Read more on walking & active meditation in another blog  transient-hypofrontality-and-the-zone.html )
5. Gratitude and awareness – Raising his children with constant reminders of the privileges' they enjoy (a comfortable bed,  regular meals, relatives that can visit and travel , education they can access,  beautiful home )  and taking them to countries / places that “have-not” as part of their education.   Stressing on  the importance of  delayed gratification , cause-effect ,  in this instant child-rearing age.     
6. Life-lessons in everything and everyone -   Being comfortable and learning from people from all walks of life.  Interesting anecdote meeting the musician (one of his idols) Ali Farka Toure ( 31 Oct 1939 – 6 March 2006 ) from Mali Africa .   Mathew literally followed an inner voice ,  flew from USA to Africa to find this man whose music he loved , and to get to know him.   A gem he picked up from Ali when asked why he didn’t move from Africa to USA/Europe  -  “ In Europe he would be like dried sh** . Forgotten.  In Africa he is like wet sh** .  The scent is  strong , powerful and sticks with you.  Haha …. A crude but sticky analogy ! 😊  He strongly advocates visiting a country and not leaving until you  actually get in the daily groove and are somewhat comfortable to stay indefinitely  .  I guess what he means is not doing only the “touristy” stuff,  observing it in comfort ,  but really living the daily trials and madness. 
7. Experiential education – The need to diffuse academics and build more life experience into education.  Focus on the practical , the life skills needed.   How he opted for the experiential ( auditions , interviews , time out to travel , boost confidence levels ) rather than focus too much on his honors acting program.  Mindset versus Skillset -  the latter  always needed to “lower your life-handicap” . 
8. The magic of notes -   An avid “journaller” and note-taker  ,  in the habit of jotting down thoughts  , wisdom from others ,  learning experiences on the spot .     He writes not to remember, but to forget . I like this.  free up mental RAM for other things .  capture-those-thoughts.html 

My take on  "Die Empty" by Todd Henry,    Enjoy !